SPIRITUAL DEFRAUDING.

To defraud another person is to stir up in them desires that cannot be RIGHTEOUSLY satisfied. 

A man can defraud a woman by promising marital commitment that he is not able or intending to carry out. 

It's sin, failure to safeguard your affections can be disastrous. 

Be careful to guard against inappropriate emotional attachment and physical intimacy. Guard your heart so that you don't ignite passions that should only be reserved for marriage. 

Decide what your limits will be and write them down e. g we shall be meeting for coffee at Java on Wednesdays. We shall not be staying beyond 8pm. 

Every sacrifice you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other during marriage. 

How and where you spend time together is important. Don't weaken your resistance to sin e. g staying in each others apartment at night. It's best to find time alone together while doing something like take a walk

Song of Solomon 3:5, I charge you daughters of Jerusalem by the gazelles or by the does of the field do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. 

That's a metaphor, don't awaken feelings that you cannot handle righteously

 AVOIDING THE NEAR OCCASION OF SIN 

we should not deliberately put ourselves into the temptation way 

Don't tempt satan to tempt you. Any two people who make this resolutions even if they are given an opportunity to sin they will not because they are children of God therefore people of integrity. 

All it takes is one moment of weakness (and be sure that satan will be eargly waiting for it) for you to sin. 

Do not put any confidence in flesh, put your confidence in God 

If you find yourself in a situation of temptation please flee. Learn from your brother Joseph, when confronted with a temptation he did say he was strong, this was his answer, "how can I do this wicked thing to my God". 

Drastic actions are sometimes necessary to maintain purity. You must be careful not to allow physical contact to degenerate into sexual lust e.g if you find yourself sexually aroused just because of hugging  avoid it.

The principle to remember is that purity involves not only the physical act but the heart as well.

DON'T GIVE RISE TO A SCANDAL 

The impression that you give give to others as a believer is very important. 

2nd Corinthians 3:2,You are our epistle written in our hearts known and read by ALL MEN..... 

If you hear a believer saying "I don't care what people think and say about me, i know myself better". That kind of a believer has reached the highest level of spiritual arrogance 

"We are strong, we can stay together overnight, we can take an afternoon nap together as long as we are not sinning, let them talk if they want to ". That kind of an attitude in a believer needs proper circumsion. If you think you are standing take heed lest you fall 

When unbelievers perceive you to be leading an impure life, it gives them a sense of it being okay. 

Help build the body of Christ by being a good example. It's our sense of responsibility in the body of Christ that leads us to make necessary sacrifices for the sake of others when we decide not to give rise to scandals 

What message to do pass to your neighbors when they see female underwear on the cloth line yet you are single and born again. 

They know you speak in tongues but every morning they see your fiancee getting out of your apartment, even if you spend in different bedrooms it will give a wrong impression. 

Romans 12:2,and do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God 

Galatians 5:16,i say then, walk in the spirit and you shall not fulfill the LUST OF THE FLESH

 SHORT COURTSHIP IS THE BEST 

There are practical reasons for keeping courtship short and not extending it than necessary. 

As we spend time together during courtship our relationship deepens and it becomes challenging to manage emotional attachments and remain objective

Corinthians 7:9,but if they cannot exercise self control let them marry..... 

Be open and honest during courtship. If there were past relationships don't hide them. If you got children in those relationships open up. The frequency of conversations should be characterized by the desire to become acquinted with each other more deeply. 

A long courtship can become confusing and frustrating. 

Apostle Paul says the single should concentrate on pleasing the Lord 

During courtship time neither person is able to focus his or her FULL attention on either of these goals therefore a lengthy courtship should be avoided. 

At this point the church and the parents should be informed for the formal introductions

 GET A MENTOR 

At this stage look for people you trust and respect. They should be able to talk to you openly and you should be able able to talk to them openly too. Honesty is key for mentorship. 

Sometimes we are more responsible when we are held accountable for our actions. 

Apostle Paul says imitate me as I imitate Christ. Mentorship is a Kingdom principle. 

TO ALL MENTORS 

Never mentor a person who hides information from you. Never force yourself on anyone for mentorship, If she or he cannot confine in you it means they don't trust you. 

Be careful when you see people who you used to mentor hidding the issues from you, in most cases it's because they are sinning:

 It is good for a man to be the initiator of courtship. As I earlier said men are hunters. 

When a spiritually an emotionally mature man is ready for marriage after praying seeking God and discerning God's direction, he should speak to the woman of his choice 

Our relationships start with marriage proposals, not the other way round. 

A man who fails to take this role in courtship may also fail to take leadership in marriage and his home. A man is supposed to be a priest in his home. 

Personal preferences and attractions may also influence our  choices but prudence would also dictate other qualities to observe, fear of God, humility etc. That's why prayer is key.Get a confirmation from God. 

Don't  marry someone for their personality when their spiritual life is a mess. 

There is no unique private part, God gave us the necessary 'tools' so don't do' road tests. 'In Christian faith we believe without seeing. 

THE CHURCH DOESN'T HAVE ANY BIBILICAL WARRANT TO ARRANGE MARRIAGES FOR ANYONE. 

Proverbs 18:22, he who FINDS a wife finds a good thing and obtains Favour from the LORD. 

Finding is both spiritual and physical and it's a man's duty not a pastors duty. You should not marry under duress because christian marriages are lifetime affairs

Children of God we are spiritual beings having a human experience not human beings having a spiritual experience. 

The world cannot give us a standard for marriage, we are a peculiar people. Holy nation, people called by the name of a holy God. Holiness is a standard. 

..... Without holiness no man shall see God....

Evangelist Glorious Mwameso

The Revival Of Truth And Holiness Ministry